


Clearing the Chamber

by msraven



Series: Behind the Wall [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Episode: s01e03 The Asset, Established Relationship, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Nightmares, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 10:24:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msraven/pseuds/msraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I remember the important things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clearing the Chamber

**Author's Note:**

> Late because I didn't watch the latest ep until last night.

"Hey handsome."

Just the sound of Clint's voice is enough to relieve the pain of Phil's various cuts and bruises.

"Hey," Phil sighs in response.

"Should you even be calling me from your bus?" Clint asks. 

"I trust that Stark knew what he was doing when he gave me this phone," Phil replies. 

"Uh... JARVIS?"

"No part of this conversation will be recorded," the A.I. responds without further clarification from Clint.

"Thanks bud," Clint says and Phil can't help smiling at Clint's ability to make friends with anything remotely sentient. 

"Thank you," Phil adds.

"You are very welcome, Agents," JARVIS responds before there is a small click on the line, which Phil assumes is JARVIS giving them some privacy.

"Yeah," Clint chuckles. "We wouldn't want your relationship with Stark to be tainted by any evidence of mutual respect."

Phil leans back in his chair and lets Clint's good mood wash over him.

"Phil? You okay?" Clint asks, his voice now laced with worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Phil answers. "A little banged up, but nothing too damaging." He pauses, his mind still clouded by the nightmare that had woken him and sent him into his office eager to hear Clint's voice. 

"May asked for a full combat role," Phil deflects, not ready to speak of what's really on his mind just yet.

"Sounds more like the Melinda I know," Clint says without trying to hide his relief – over Phil or his former S.O., Phil isn't sure.

"I think she's trying to keep me out of trouble."

"Considering your recent track record, that's not surprising."

"I'd like to think it's about me," Phil sighs, "but I doubt it. She's still angry. I think she's making sure you don't lose me again."

"Is that a problem?" Clint asks.

"I… I'd prefer if she believed in the cause."

"Phil," Clint says patiently. "Mel isn't one of your fresh-faced newbies. She's been around the block a few times. If she didn't believe, she wouldn't still be with SHIELD."

"Yeah… yes, I suppose you're right," Phil concedes.

"What's this really about?"

"I killed a man today," Phil tells him. "He thought he was saving millions and I sacrificed him to save a few hundred thousand, including myself and my team."

"It's not the first time you've had to make that choice," Clint responds, matter-of-fact, "and I doubt it will be the last. I know that if there is anyone I trust to be making these choices, it's you."

Phil has to swallow past the sudden lump in his throat. Clint's trust and confidence in him will never fail to shake him to his core.

"I'm guessing you were the reason for the earthquakes in Malta?" Clint asks, giving Phil the time he needs to recover his composure.

Phil shakes his head even though Clint can't see him. "I am attempting to refrain from asking where you come by your intel."

"Nah, this one's simple," Clint replies with a smile in his voice. "Quinn's just below Hammer on Tony's hate meter, so he was pretty happy to see him run from Malta with his tail between his legs."

"You're at the Tower?" Phil asks, surprised.

"Yeah. Pepper's off somewhere and Bruce asked me over to help distract Tony. Either that or Bruce wanted to distract me from your not being home. Banner's pretty wily like that."

Clint's voice is full of fondness and Phil is absurdly glad that he has the other Avengers to help watch over him.

"Any potential disasters I should be concerned about?"

Clint laughs. "We promise to keep the damage contained to the Tower – mostly."

"I'll believe it when I see it, Barton," Phil can't help but tease.

"I said mostly," Clint responds with a chuckle and then sobers. "Now are you going to tell me what's really wrong?"

"I'm rusty," Phil admits.

"At?"

"Clearing a handgun."

"Well handguns have never been your strong suit," Clint says. "Considering everything, people coming at us with handguns actually isn't that common. Or it wasn't. You've always been better at improvised and non-standard weaponry. Why?"

"I thought… muscle memory, you know?"

"You can't be a badass at everything," Clint points out.

"I know that. It's just…"

"Phil," Clint says softly. "Even without them shoving Tahiti in there, you were bound to lose some memory due to your injury and being in stasis. You know that."

"I remember the important things," Phil whispers, the guilt still weighing heavily in his heart after all these months.

"Phil…"

"I had a nightmare," Phil rushes out. "I woke up in Tahiti and this time, I didn't think there was anything wrong about the empty space next to me in the bed. I didn't question your not being there. I didn't remember you or _us_. I lost you and I didn't care."

"But that's not what happened," Clint reminds him. "You did remember and you found me. You didn't lose me and you won't ever lose me."

"I know that," Phil says and takes a deep breath. "I know. I know it was only a nightmare, but I needed to hear your voice."

"I wish you were home, so we could sit on the couch and I could read to you."

Phil's heart clenches with longing at the idea. "You could still read to me."

"Or I could tell you a story?" Clint offers and Phil sucks in a shocked breath. Clint's stories from his past are a rare and precious gift.

"You don't have to," Phil tells him.

"I want to."

"I… I'd love that, Clint."

Phil settles a little more comfortably in his chair and closes his eyes, Clint's soothing voice in his ear re-energizing him more than a day's worth of sleep.

"This one morning in the circus…"

_fin_


End file.
